It’s all a bit overwhelming, isn’t it? Packing your bags and leaving your loved ones behind. Leaving your home country for the first time. Flying for more than a dozen hours across an ocean on less than half a dozen hours of sleep. Feeling alone in a city with over a million people in it. Trying to put into application four semesters worth of learning another language and still ending up barely babbling along like a baby most of the time because native speakers talk faster than you can comprehend. Forgetting basic words and phrases immediately upon being confronted with conversation scenarios that ought to be firmly cemented in your memory. Wanting to do anything and everything even the slightest bit interesting but only having three weeks to do what you can. Realizing that three weeks isn’t enough time to get to know a brand new place that captured your heart as soon as it possibly could. Acknowledging that the nine other people who came with you are incredibly intricate and compassionate but are often the most indecisive collection of human beings on planet earth at any given moment in time. Assuming responsibility for making sure those nine people get to where they need to go without showing up fifteen or twenty minutes late. Attempting to keep distant from each and every one of them in an effort to soften the emotional blow when it’s time to say goodbye. Failing to do just that. Learning that you’re the first to one to leave on departure day. Wondering if anyone else will be awake when your taxi whisks you away early in the morning. Writing all your thoughts down to solidify the reality of them as if putting pen to paper suddenly locks everything into place and creates metaphorical ties to all the memories you made. Avoiding actively thinking about returning to life back home. Coping with the notion that home isn’t permanent and is dependent on the people and the environment around you wherever you rest your head for a while. Longing for the ability to rest your head where you have been for the past few weeks for just a little while longer. Receiving a message from your mom informing you that one of your dogs passed away while you were gone. Holding your tears back as you dedicate time later in the day to let it all out. Hoping your brother isn’t shaken up too badly. Remembering Jasper. Looking ahead and rejoicing in the fact that life goes on whether we want it to or not. Choosing to make the most of it.
It’s all a bit overwhelming. But it’s all a bit wonderful, isn’t it?